AN EYE FOR AN EYE, A TOOTH FOR $6,OOO

        Last March, I got a new tooth and a new eye.

The eye—okay, a lens—involved one renown surgeon, my insurance company, and a very small co-pay by me.  The tooth involved two teeth men.

One was a dentist.  Mine.  He put in the implant.

The other was an oral surgeon with a high-floor office, in a high rise building, in a high rental district on the Upper East Side.  He pulled out the old tooth.

My health insurance did not cover their fees.  The cost of these procedures was more than $6,000.

       Before my dentist put in my new custom-matched tooth, I had my six-week post-surgery check-up with the oral surgeon. He looked inside my mouth and told me everything looked beautiful.

So did his office.  It looked different.  Better.

“I just got all new high-tech equipment and had the place painted,” he said.

Just meaning after he pulled my tooth. That he yanked with old equipment.   Other patients benefited from his new, improved state-of-the-art toys.

I paid a portion of his bill.  I have paid off my dentist.  I need cleanings.  I need him.  I have dental issues.  They include: breaking teeth.  With my most recent break, I negotiated.  I told him if it was going to be costly, I’d have to go to a dentist on my university health plan or to someone with a jar of glue who could simply glue my tooth back in.  He took a look. He said he’d glue. He did.  It cost $100.

He claimed this break was cleaner.  Really?  Maybe it was.  Or maybe I got smarter.

      I’ve paid the oral surgeon more money.  His monthly bills continue to arrive.  I’ll continue paying.  Hopefully I will be done before his next renovation.

Meantime, can’t someone figure out a system to put teeth doctors in their places?

Their fees are silly.  No?